Vikings @ Rams

Story to watch: Fresh off stocking the morgue full of countless bodies in survivor pools across the country last weekend, the Vikings take their underachieving talents to Tinseltown this Thursday for a date with the explosive Rams. Thankfully for the Minnesota faithful, Kirk cousins and company are mercifully opening as heavy underdogs this week, because we all know how well things turn out when they happen to be favored. Still, with the Rams sending a few of their own to the infirmary and heading into a short week, this matchup should be tighter than the seven point spread suggests. Will the Vikings rally around getting demolished in embarrassing fashion last week, or will they die like dogs?

Safe Bets: Despite having the most dynamic weapon in football in Todd Gurley, Sean McVay seems committed to passing the ball downfield with reckless abandon. That’s good news for Robert Woods, Cooper Kupp, and Brandin Cooks, but good luck deciding which one is going to cash in on a given week. With each receiver garnering a nearly identical target share, every member of the trio is a WR2 with touchdown upside. The vaunted Minnesota defense just made country bumpkin Josh Allen look Joe Montana, so as far as I’m concerned you can deploy Jared Goff with confidence. I’d normally shy away from road offenses on Thursday night, but the Rams defense will potentially be ailing without Aqib Talib and Marcus Peters patrolling the secondary. That means Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs are full goes, as is Kirk Cousins, who needs provide his fanbase with some eye bleach after last week’s embarrassment of a performance.

Hope For The Best: While Kyle Rudolph typically requires a healthy dosage of garbage time to inch his stat line towards respectability, that shouldn’t be the case against the Rams. The Los Angeles defense has been roasted by tight ends throughout September, so the Red Zone Reindeer is looking at a nice matchup. Who knows, he might even get a touchdown during a meaningful moment in the game! It’s starting to seem like this will be a banged up sophomore campaign for Dalvin Cook, whose hamstring issues could be correlated to his recovering ACL. Still, I’m generally starting the second year player when active, and the Vikings should give him plenty of touches.

Hell No: Say, did you hear the one about Latavius Murray having zero competition for carries and facing off against the worst team in the NFL? It’s a long joke, but the punchline is that he only had two carries and singlehandedly lost your fantasy matchup. Hilarious. Even if Dalvin Cook is still sidelined, I’d be cautious about deploying Latavius the Letdown on Thursday.

Postgame Headline: “Vikings actually show up to play this week, still lose 30-24”

 

Eagles @ Titans

Story To Watch: It’s time to start regarding the Eagles backfield as a fantasy minefield. We saw it in the first half of week one, when Doug Pederson stubbornly stuck with the diminutive Darren Sproles in goal line packages. We saw it in Week 2, when Jay Ajayi and Corey Clement evenly handled duties in the second half. And finally, in a plum spot for Clement with a sidelined Ajayi and Sproles, we witnessed Wendell Smallwood eat into the workload with some random Josh Adams carries sprinkled in for good measure. If Clement couldn’t command the lion’s share of the backfield with both Ajayi and Sproles inactive, then it’s not a pretty picture for any member of this group going forward. For now, fantasy owners should tread lightly regarding this “power sharing situation”…

Safe Bets: There was a solid stretch during the second half of last season when you could bank on Carson Wentz, Zach Ertz, and Alshon Jeffery for weekly fantasy production. Sadly, we’re not back to the halcyon days of the reigning champs’ run yet, but Wentz looked better than expected in his season debut last week. He’s the only guy I feel confident in starting until he fully kicks off the rust and reconnects with his weapons. An improved Wentz can only mean good things for Zach Ertz, but something just isn’t clicking for the would-be top three tight end. I’d still slot him in the lineup expecting production, but the 2018 definition of “production” may need to be tweaked unless the touchdowns pick up.

Hope For The Best: The party’s over for Nelson Agholor. After hauling eight receptions in each of the first two games with Nick Foles under center, the 4^th year receiver violently crashed back to earth in Wentz’s return. He’s still the Eagles best option wearing a wide receiver number (until Alshon returns), but he’s no longer a focal point for the ginger hammer. Dallas Goedart didn’t just infuriate Zach Ertz owners across the country last week, but he looked damn good while doing it, too. He’ll have some nice appeal so long as Carson seems laser focused on the tight end group. I wouldn’t expect a bonanza for Corey Davis, but he should acquit himself well against an Eagles secondary that has been surrendering yards to WR1s in bunches. I’ve made my thoughts on the Eagles’ RB corps crystal clear, but here’s the cliff notes just in case: start Jay Ajayi if he’s healthy, maybe start Corey Clement if he’s not, and take a hard pass on anyone else. You’re playing with fire with this group.

Hell No: The Tennessee Titans’ ad hoc quarterback timeshare strategy ended abruptly when Blaine Gabbert exited with a concussion last week. The Titans had to resort to using Marcus Mariota, which is a depressing statement considering his top three pick pedigree. Apparently the nerve damage in his arm means he still can’t throw the ball accurately, but I’m sure that won’t be a problem against the Eagles defense….

I’d only start the Gurleys and Kamaras of the world against the Philly rush defense, and Dion Lewis and Derrick Henry sure as shit ain’t them. Hard Pass.

Postgame Headline: “He is risen: Wentz returns to form as Eagles handle Titans 27-16”

 

Buccaneers @ Bears

Story To Watch: Both on and off the field throughout his young career, Jameis Winston has exhibited worse judgment than Latarian Milton. Now fresh off a suspension for yet another infraction of common human decency, the man with 1,000 chances might’ve finally reached the end of the line. I’m sure Jameis figured Ryan Fitzpatrick would just keep his seat warm in the interim, but I doubt he’s smiling now that Fitzy is in the record books. Can a team really turn away from a quarterback who’s thrown for 1300 yards and 11 touchdowns in the first three games? We’re about to find out, but in the meantime, the veteran Fitzpatrick should watch his back. If the hot streak continues, I have a feeling Jameis will pull a commander Shepard on him…

Safe Bets: It should be apparent by now that Mike Evans simply alternates productive years, so you should feel blessed if you have him in 2018. As long as Jameis and his airmailed passes are relegated to clipboard duty, Mike is a weekly top five option again. Okay, so Jordan Howard might not be the most efficient guy in the league, but where else are you getting that kind of usage? He’s like a reincarnated Rudi Johnson, and I’m definitely starting him against the Bucs. Given Allen Robinson’s transition to slot receiver extraordinaire, I’d feel confident in starting him as a high upside WR3 against an exploitable Tampa secondary.

Hope For the Best: Look, you’re obviously going to ride the Fitzmagic wave until it crashes upon the shore like a tsunami on an Indonesian fishing village, but you should temper your expectations against the revamped monsters of the midway. Given that Khalil Mack will be in his face all night, the virile QB could be in for a rough day. The good news for Fitzpatrick owners is that it’s now illegal to sack the quarterback, so he should still string together a serviceable fantasy outing. Going from Carson Wentz to Mitchell Trubisky is like going from caviar to gas station egg salad, but Trey Burton has thirty million reasons gulp it down with a smile. He’s still on the TE1 radar, but his quarterback needs to improve immensely for Burton to live up to his ADP. Desean Jackson had a difficult time getting uncorked against the pourous Steelers secondary, so he’s far from a sure thing against the Bears. If you’re playing him, you’re looking for one of his trademark bombs. OJ Howard has been involved every week, and he flashed a new trick against the Steelers: spreading out his yards per reception. The 6-72 line is a welcome addition to the previously boom/bust TE option.

Hell No: Tarik Cohen was more involved than ever last week, but it still didn’t amount to much in the touches department. No, you didn’t accidently enter a wormhole and witness a moment from 2016 – that was present day Cameron Brate scoring a touchdown last week. He’s a fluke to me, and as such, is still a tax paying resident of Shitsville™. There’s a case to be made that Mitchell Trubisky is a bottom five quarterback in the league, but he’s also helming the offense of the 1^st place team in the NFC north. For fantasy purposes, he’s a hard pass.

Postgame Headline: “White hot Bucs cooled by the Chicago wind, lose tight game 26-23.”

 

Jets @ Jaguars

Story To Watch: Some people will say that Bilal Powell is the guy to own in the Jets backfield, as he more than doubled up his colleague’s rushing totals against the Browns. Others will say that Sam Darnold’s extreme growing pains are evidence enough to avoid the Jets offense entirely, citing that negative game scripts will make any Jets running back nigh unstartable. These are valid points, but do you know what I say? Two touchdowns out of the man, the myth, the legend Isaiah Crowell more than meet the requirements for getting hype AF for the third consecutive week on this blog. If you’re somehow living under a rock, allow me to enlighten you. It’s time to get #SoCrow ….

Safe Bets: Leonard Fournette (If Healthy)

Hope For The Best: Quincy Enunwa, CAW CAW CAW CAW, Blake Bortles, Bilal Powell, Keelan Cole, Dede Westbrook

Hell No: Sam Darnold, Robby Anderson

Postgame Headline: “Darnold’s struggles continue as Jaguars handily dispose of the Jets in 20-10 snoozefest.”

 

Broncos @ Chiefs

Story To Watch: This isn’t a commentary on this matchup in particular, but god damn we’re in for exciting times with some of the wild arms helming NFL offenses these days. Patrick Mahomes is clearly the default example of the new, exciting blood permeating the league, but he’s merely the beginning of the story. Baker Mayfield ascended in the national spotlight, Josh Rosen is getting his first start this week, Sam Darnold is keeping games entertaining with his boneheaded interceptions, and we haven’t even seen Lamar Jackson get meaningful snaps yet. And while we tragically lost Jimmy G last week, we were also gifted with a ballsy performance from Josh Allen, who proved that all you need to overcome a 17 point spread on the road is a hefty set of testicles. The young guns of the league have officially put the NFL’s old guard on notice.

Safe Bets: The prolific start by the Chiefs should be all the evidence you need, but in case you’re daft: start every Kansas City player available, ya dingus. Pat Mahomes, Tyreek Hill, Kareem Hunt, Sammy Watkins, and Travis Kelce have the brightest possible shade of green light in this game. On Denver’s side, it’s hard to envision a scenario where Emmanuel Sanders doesn’t top 100 yards against the garbage Chiefs secondary.

Hope For The Best: The only factors preventing Case Keenum from being a “sure bet” is his general lack of talent and propensity for turning the ball over, but other than that he’s a great play this week. Three touchdowns and three turnovers incoming. Royce Freeman may have the upper hand in the Denver backfield now that rage-aholic Phillip Lindsay is in the doghouse with the Broncos coaching staff. He has a nice shot at a goal line touchdown here. Demaryius Thomas’ best days are possibly behind him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still get you 7 catches for 69 yards and no scores. There’s deep league value to be had there.

Hell No: I’m looking at the rosters here and I can’t think of a player you definitively shouldn’t play in this game. We’re in for some scoring.

Postgame Headline: “Chiefs continue torrid pace in 41-28 walloping of rival Broncos.”

 

Saints @ Giants

Story To Watch: The Giants and Saints have faced off twice in the past three seasons, but we’re going to focus on the 2015 bonanza and not the 2016 shitfest when considering this week’s matchup. The reasons being…

1. The 2015 version of Eli Manning got a new lease on life in the form of Odell Beckham Jr. The veteran quarterback previously crumpled at the sight of his own shadow, but having a superstar provided him with a renewed vigor. He has that look again courtesy of Saquon Barkley.
2. The 2016-17 Saints’ run first approach more closely resembled the wishbone style of a 1940s college team than a modern NFL offense. Through three games this season, that is decidedly not the case.
3. Why analyze a 16-13 abortion of a game when you can watch highlights from a 52-49 instant classic?

In any event, there’s every reason to believe that we’ll be treated to some fireworks in this one. If you have any stock in either of these offenses whatsoever, I’d try to work a barstool for 3 hours on Sunday and enjoy the show. Let’s get into it…

Safe Bets: You could’ve given Drew Brees given numerous accurate superlatives over the course of his illustrious career, but until last Sunday, “goal line vulture” wasn’t one of them. Regardless, he’s a locked in QB1 even on the road. Michael Thomas has a staggering 38 receptions on the year so far, and with Janoris Jenkins’ name not carrying nearly the same clout as in years past, there’s an outside chance he hits the 50 catch milestone in this one. Welp, it’s been an amazing workhorse ride for Alvin Kamara owners. Even with three overturned touchdowns in the opening month, the sophomore phenom’s downright stupid workload has keep him a top five play. Here’s hoping he goes out with a bang before Mark Ingram ruins everything like a concerned parent crashing a kegger.

Eli Manning still goes down like a sack of potatoes at the slightest inkling of pressure, but the Giants are doing a better job of giving him quick reads to offset that. I think they’ll be in scoring position often on Sunday, so Eli is tantalizing streaming option. Odell Beckham Jr. perhaps misread an angle last week on what should’ve been a long touchdown, but nobody should be complaining about yet another 100 yard performance. The days of him blowing up matchups with three touchdown outings are in the past, but he’s still a dynamite play against the Saints. I’ve seen enough to conclude that Saquon Barkley is already the most talented back in the NFL, and I think he backs up that irresponsible claim this weekend. Book him for 100+ yards and two scores. As an Odell Beckham Jr. owner, I want someone to pull a Nancy Kerrigan on Sterling Shepard in the tunnel before the game. As an “impartial” fantasy writer, though, I’m forced to recommend the shit out him this weekend.

Hope For The Best: This is mostly a “safe bets” matchup, but Ben Watson is on the TE streaming radar in what should be a shootout. The same goes for Ted Ginn Jr. in deeper formats

Hell No: I’m thinking Cameron Meredith’s touchdown last week was a fluke, as he’s been invisible throughout the first three weeks. Cody Latimer can suck it.

Postgame Headline: “Giants show some pride, get to .500 with 31-30 finish against the Saints.”

And speaking of shootouts…

 

Bengals @ Falcons

Story To Watch: Poor Julio Jones (and more specifically, Julio Jones owners). As if his reputation for being allergic to the endzone wasn’t enough, in walks Calvin Ridley, who’s apparently a touchdown machine. In many ways, Ridley’s ascendance mirrors Julio’s own rookie season, when he was the sexier deep threat opposite franchise mainstay Roddy White. Now in White’s shoes, Julio must do what he can to remain the object of his quarterback’s eye. He’s basically like a trophy wife who looks incredible for her age, but there’s only so many spin classes you can go to before the husband starts noticing the 21 year old babysitter. There will be plenty of targets to go around in this offense, but Julio owners are in for a vexing year in the paydirt department.

Safe Bets: This matchup in Mercedez-Benz stadium has the makings of a southern county fair, with heaping servings of deep fried touchdowns for everyone involved. Andy Dalton looks primed for another three touchdown outing, and his season outlook is only enhancing by the week. Michael Thomas demolished this secondary a week ago, so both mainstay AJ Green and the blossoming Tyler Boyd should be considered strong options. As of this writing, The Criminal’s gameday status is still up in the air. If he’s out, though, you can safely fire up Giovanni Bernard once again. Matt Ryan sure as shit shut me up after I labelled him a massive fraud a couple of weeks ago. Since week one, he’s been fantasy gold at the QB position. I don’t think you can expect three touchdowns out of Calvin Ridley again, but he’s clearly a focal point for the Atlanta offense going forward. The attention the rookie garners could potentially work in Julio Jones’ favor, but things would have to break just right. With only three touchdowns in his last 24 games, Julio may simply not recognize the goal line anymore…

Hope For The Best: If Joe Mixon is able to make a miraculous recovery and suits up on Sunday, I’m going to exercise caution despite the juicy matchup. While The Criminal is clearly the preferred option for the Bengals, I’m worried the coaching staff will deploy a timeshare approach to reduce wear and tear (at least initially). Tevin Coleman and Devonta Freeman (if healthy) are both solid starts, but the 2018 Falcons are increasingly looking like more of an air raid offense. Tyler Eifert is still healthy, which is a miracle unto itself. He could finally reward his owners’ patience in what should be a high scoring game.

Hell No: This isn’t a commentary on Mohammed Sanu’s talent, but someone has to be the odd man out in the WR corps this week.

Postgame Headline: “Falcons claw Bengals in thriller in the dome, 33-27”

 

Texans @ Colts

Story To Watch: I was tasked with babysitting my friends’ 14 month old baby while they went to a concert last weekend. This was a new experience for me, so I was surprised to learn about the phenomenon where babies have an intense burst of energy before bedtime. This little guy was a bull in a china shop, seemingly propelled throughout the house by numerous nighttime farts. After throwing pots and pans all over the kitchen, screaming at the top of his lungs, and generally raising hell with reckless abandon, he slowly crumpled towards the floor, as if pulled down by a subterranean magnet. What followed was the easiest bedtime routine I could’ve hoped for. I’m told by many parents that this is a common occurrence, and I can only hope that the Houston Texans follow a similar protocol this weekend. With an 0-3 record and their backs against the wall, I expect Deshaun Watson and company to rage against the dying of the light and deliver a valiant, season-saving effort. Here’s hoping they go full sleepy baby and make it happen.

Safe Bets: Deshaun Watson, Will Fuller, DeAndre Hopkins, Lamar Miller, Andrew Luck, TY Hilton

Hope For The Best: Eric Ebron (he was inches from two touchdowns last week), Jack Doyle (if healthy)

Hell No: Nyheim Hines, Jordan Wilkins, or any other running back for the bumbling Colts running game.

Postgame Headline: “Texans keep season alive on the road in 26-23 comeback win”

 

Seahawks @ Cardinals

Story To Watch: Much like the prophet Moses before him, fellow member of the tribe Josh Rosen offers a glimmer of hope for a beleaguered people of the desert. While Cardinals fans can’t expect the UCLA product to part the red sea, he could very well provide more trips to the red zone, which would be a miracle unto itself considering the shackles of a Mike McCoy offense.

Safe Bets: A date with the Seattle defense isn’t nearly as threatening a proposition as it was three years ago, but David Johnson owners have plenty of other causes for concern despite the matchup. Mike McCoy’s insistence on misusing the dynamic centerpiece of the offense is flummoxing to say the least, but the volume should still be there for your 1^st round pick. What are you gonna do, sit him? Russell Wilson offers a similar conundrum, as his offense functions about as well as Ray Charles would on an interstate freeway. He’s managed to eek out respectable fantasy lines, however, and this game should be no different. Chris Carson and his crazy legs logged an impressive 32 carries last week, and it appears at long last that Seattle has found their bellcow. He should be in for another healthy portion of totes against the Cardinals.

Hope For The Best: To say that it’s been a fall from grace for Larry Fitzgerald would be an understatement, but that would also be a disservice to Larry Legend’s tenure with quarterbacks far worse than Sam Bradford. Josh Rosen should be able to offer a spark, so don’t hit the panic button just yet on the hall of fame wide receiver. Doug Baldwin seems, um… excited to play. That kind of intensity spells good things about his health, but this is a difficult matchup to step into. The same goes for Tyler Lockett, whose healthy target share should see a noticeable dip with Baldwin back in the fold. Ricky Seals-Jones has the talent to be rostered regardless, but he’s definitely worth a look with Rosen under center. Rookie quarterbacks and safety valve tight ends and all that.

Hell No: It can’t get much worse than Sam Bradford, but it will truly be a baptism by fire for the rookie Josh Rosen. He could make a play here and there, but I want to see what’s there first. Rashad Penny, welcome to Shitsville™.

Postgame Headline: “Cardinals close gap but come up empty as Wilson, Carson hold on for 24-20 victory”

 

Ravens @ Steelers

Safe Bets: Pittsburgh did everything they could do give the Buccaneers a win last week, but they nonetheless held on to reach a 1-1-1 record and kept their season alive in the process. Whether they keep it up remains to be seen, but one thing’s fore sure: the explosive Steelers offense is back on the menu. Ben Roethlisberger will have his way with the Ravens at home, and Antonio Brown’s touchdown last week will hopefully get him on track to justify his high price tag. However, the guy you really should be invested in is Juju Smith-Schuster, who is seemingly incapable of accumulating less than 100 yards per game. I’ll say this quietly so I don’t get collectively clocked in the face by AB shareholders the world over, but JuJu may be the true WR1 for fantasy purposes.

Anything is possible against the Pittsburgh defense, which means that Joe Flacco is a borderline QB1 in this contest. John Brown also gets a green light from me, because why the hell not against the Steelers? It’s been a frustrating start to the season for Al Collins owners, but at least you’re getting a score here and there to soften the blow. I think this will finally be the matchup where he puts it all together.

Hope For The Best: Given the rapid pace that information travels in 21^st century society, I’m sure you’ve already seen the clip of Vance McDonald stiff arming Chris Conte to smithereens a million times in less than 72 hours. Regardless, watching that again is all the evidence I need to slot him in my lineup. You can’t discount Buck Allen’s propensity for picking up random ass touchdowns, but it isn’t exactly a trait you can rely on either. Despite sealing the game last week with some clutch runs, James Conner struggled mightily throughout the contest to get into a rhythm. He’s still a must start based on volume alone, but I wonder if the shine is starting to wear off on that Cadillac that you presumably picked up for free before Week 1. Michael Crabtree remains a touchdown threat, which is basically all you can say about him at this point in his career. He’s a middling WR3.

Hell No: I mean, did you see that clip of Vance McDonald? Nobody gives a shit about you anymore, Jesse James.

Postgame Headline: “Steelers build on bizarre record, tally 2-1-1 with 26-20 win over the Ravens”

 

 

Bills @ Packers

Story To Watch: Okay, let’s address the elephant in the room – and I don’t mean the hideous amalgamation of our collective nightmares that was revealed as the Flyers mascot this week. Whether you’re a first time reader or longtime supporter of the BFG, you’ve probably noticed by now that this isn’t a very stat-laden article. You haven’t seen any mention of air yards, huh? Not a scintilla of DVOA data, either? And I know you nearly fell out of your seat when you realized this article contained zero information about EPA per passing attempt among for QBS with an extremely cherry picked sample size (unforgivable, I know). It’s not that these metrics don’t have value, but the reason they’re absent in the Presessment is because reading about that stuff is about as exciting as perusing a farming trade magazine about soybean yields. So don’t ask me to include more evidence to back up my obviously unsubstantiated claims, as there are 500+ resources on the internet that can scratch that itch for you. Sometimes you need to go with your gut in this fake game of ours….

Safe Bets: Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams, Lesean McCoy (if he can get through one week without legal issues)

Hope For The Best: Geronimo Allison, Aaron Jones, and yes, Josh Allen. I understand that it’s chasing points and this is a difficult road spot after a huge victory, but you can’t discount a quarterback who’s willing to Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em into the end zone from the five yard line. This corn fed dude won me the hell over last week.

Hell No: Every other Bills player, Jamaal Williams, Ty Montgomery, and I’d be surprised if Randall Cobb was allowed on the bus after last week’s disaster of a performance. Pack your bags, baby, because you’re heading to Shitsville.

Postgame Headline: “Rodgers unloads on Bills as Packers cruise to 27-16 conquest.”

 

Dolphins @ Patriots

Story To Watch: It’s time to play the most dangerous game in fantasy: investing heavily in a New England running back. Sony Michel presumably is the heir apparent now that the backfield is noticeably smaller in Foxboro. While James White maintains serious PPR appeal, risk takers looking for a bellcow (if such a thing exists for the Patriots) clearly want to throw their chips on the rookie from Georgia. There’s always the chance that Belicheck brings someone in off the street – remember, Legarrette Blount went from hotboxing a car with Le’veon to leading the NFL in touchdowns with the Pats – but for now, the door is wide open for Sony. Oh yea… in case you were wondering about the circumstances surrounding Michel’s clear path to an RB1 workload this week, it’s because Rex Burkhead was placed on the IR. I know… I know!! It’s difficult to envision in even the wildest of fantasies, but you’ll have to suspend disbelief for a moment and accept that Burkhead, the poster boy for durability, is somehow on the shelf once again. Imagine my shock…

Safe Bets: I don’t want to look like a fool when December rolls around and the Patriots are curb stomping everyone in their path, so I’m not going to echo the common refrain that the seasoned veterans of New England are finally washed. They’re not, and Tom Brady and his extra pliable limbs are going to roast the Dolphins to prove the doubters wrong. Rob Gronkowski has faced some stiff defenses to open the season, but I think he crosses the plyon twice and reminds people why he’s in a tier unto himself at the tight end position. Not to be outdone, Ryan Tannehill is lookin’ like a snack as a streaming option for QB needy franchises. The Dolphins haven’t run many plays this season to date, but they’ll be throwing often as they trail in Foxborough. This is also the jackpot week for you Kenyon Drake truthers out there. James White is my preferred option in the Patriots backfield, though, as he’s at least proven himself a worthy receiving option in the red zone.

Hope For The Best: As mentioned above, this is the time to play Sony Michel if you’re an investor. You don’t want to miss out on what could be his highest workload of the season before Belicheck signs Clinton Portis or does some other extremely Belicheck ass shit to tank the rookie’s value next week. Kenny Stills is a bit too volatile for my taste, but his talent is undeniable. I think he’ll be targeted more than usual in a game in which the Dolphins will be trailing. Signs point to our Lord and and savior Josh Gordon being active this week, but let’s see how he fits into the scheme before shooting our wads. Chris Hogan will have to do something productive to remain relevant, because with Julian Edelman’s suspension rapidly coming to end, so to is Chris Hogan SZN.

Hell No: It’s been a fun ride, but Zombie Frank Gore doesn’t have any practical relevance for fantasy purposes. Cue him going 13-87-2 just to spite me.

Postgame Headline: “Patriots convincingly, frustratingly still good, control Dolphins in 31-23 win.”

 

Enjoy the games, everyone. I hope you close out September with a W.

Cut For Time: Niners @ Chargers, Lions @ Cowboys, Browns @ Raiders